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Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Urinal Weirdness



Earlier today, I'm at the Fashion Show Mall food court when nature calls, so I head into the restroom and step up to the only open urinal, which happens to be between these two drunk guys, both of whom are clutching (in one hand) those yard-long, plastic margarita bongs you can get everywhere on the Strip.

Just then, "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge comes on the mall's sound system, which is cranked to stadium-show decibel levels in the restroom, and the guy on my left starts beat-boxing. Then, the guy on my right starts doing this kind of rappy scat-singing, riffing on the melody without using any actual words, but totally in sync with the guy on my left.

I start laughing so hard that I can no longer actually pee, which only encourages the guys on either side of me.

This goes on for what feels like a whole minute, until the beat boxer runs out of breath, zips up, and steps away from his urinal with a quick, "I'm out."

The guy on my right soon follows, while I compose myself and finish my business.

And, yeah, I remembered to wash my hands.

jj@grouchyjohns.com
www.jjwylie.com


1 comment:

  1. I was driving back from SW Minn. Christmas Day and had to stop to take a leak at a Kum-n-Go (it's a real chain out of Iowa) gas station in West Bumfuq. I no sooner finish enjoying my piss shiver when an old guy at the sink starts asking me where I'm driving from, where I'm going blabbity blabitty blah...the only thing I should be saying to ANYBODY whilst holding my manhood is "close your eyes - it might sting".

    Rick L.

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