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Thursday, June 21, 2012

"How Are You Doing?"


You ever look at someone and just know that they're going through something awful? You don't know what it is, but, whatever it is, it's killing them. You can just tell.

Since you don't really know them, all you can do is say, with all sincerity, "How are you doing?" -- which sounds so inadequate since it's what we all say to each other every day without really meaning it.

But you say it. You say, "How are you doing?" And this other person puts on a brave face and says, "I'm okay. How are you?" But you can tell they're just being polite. They're dying inside.

"I'm good, thanks," is what you say next, even though what you should be saying is, "Hey, you seem troubled, friend. Is there anything I can do?" But that would be sheer madness, because of the risks involved (being misunderstood or taken advantage of or laughed at or whatever).

But what if you made a real connection instead? What if, instead of just being polite, you reached out and thereby saved someone from what was killing them? Just by asking, "How are you doing?" and meaning it and then listening to them tell you what they're going through?

Almost none of us does this. But we should, don't you think?

jj@grouchyjohns.com
www.jjwylie.com


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