Saturday, November 26, 2011

My Mom At My Wedding - a true story

(Note: For some context, you should know that I've written about my mother before, in a post entitled "My Mother Is A Witch." Honestly, it's not as bad as it sounds.) 

So, just before my wedding ceremony commenced, my mother leaned into me and whispered urgently, "Remember, when you kiss your bride, step on her foot. That way, she can't dominate your marriage!"

I nodded my head like a dutiful son, but I couldn't help chuckling. My mother, however, was completely serious.

"And when you walk out of the chapel," she continued. "Don't let her get out the door in front of you, or she'll be in charge your whole life!"

I thought about replying that it would be news to nobody that the Princess was already in charge of my life, but I let it go.

The moment in question.
Later, during the ceremony, at the appointed moment when I leaned in to kiss my bride, I heard my mother whispering from the front row of the chapel.

"J.J.! J.J.!" she hissed, tapping her toes loudly, but there was no way I was going to poke my foot through my bride's skirts to do what my mother wanted.

Now, I've asked several people if they have ever heard of the folklore that my mother was propagating, because I've always had the sneaking suspicion that she makes this stuff up as she goes.

No one I've asked has heard of stepping on your bride's foot as you kiss her. Nor have they heard of walking out of the chapel first to determine who rules the marriage.

What do you think? Is it folklore or just more of my mother's idiosyncratic improvisations?

(For more about my wedding, go here.)

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